PostPartum .... Anger?

I'm sure you've heard of postpartum depression as a momma. Every time you go to the doctor after delivering they give you these dumb little tests asking if you are depressed. No it doesn't make you feel cared for, no it doesn't make being a new momma easier to cope with, and yes you can totally lie and still feel awful. But did you know there is such a thing as postpartum anger??

Yeah, me either!! Let me tell you, it is REAL. And POWERFUL. And AWFUL. And I have it.

I seriously just thought it was my hormones leveling out (yes all of us women are a bit...ok maybe a lot...crazy due to them). It could be, but it is more than that. So I went to the doctor and guess what, all my blood work tests came back fine, but I WASN'T FINE. I'm not fine.

First I had to sit back and realize life has changed. A lot!! Let's just shake our heads a bit - 3 years ago I wasn't married, I didn't have 2 kids, and I lived life out loud. If I wanted to try it, I did it. Running, running faster, triathlons, trail running, Ironmans, and 50K's on the single tracks. But that awesome - she grew. She manifested a life she wanted and she got it. But I'm not fine. I'm not "normal". My hormones are not leveling out. I AM CHANGED. 

So how are you feeling postpartum? Are you angry? Are you lost like me? Finding your new momma status while saving parts of the freer you? Awesome!! I'm glad I'm not alone in this. I'm glad I found my husband and birthed my beautiful happy kiddos. I'm glad that I can still grow. I think that is what is the craziest part - I'm still growing and changing and becoming a better me. It's not easy - trust me - a 2 1/2 year old boy reminds me every day....every damn day, haha! So momma, remember you are not alone. You are doing a great job! Your kids love you and you can do this! 

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